Ishani Virgata

OMG! That's my big sis on stage with an up and coming musician! That's so cool! Ingrid Michaelson is a good singer too, I like her songs.

The first five to reply get a homemade gift! The gift does have some rules:

*You have no control over what I make for you.
* I will make it with you and you alone in mind.
* It'll be done within a year (So... Nov. 2010)
*No requests, it's completely up to me. Could be anything under the sun, but it will be something! Whether its normal or weird, that's up to me too. Might be tangible or digital. Depends on what I decide is good for you.

But! In order for me to send it, you must repost this!

Okay, so I recently (as in this past week) agreed to be Art Track Lead for Further Confusion 2010. I now have a list of panel ideas, but no one to really host them. I am asking for folks who are willing, or who have recommendations.

Current panel ideas:
Life drawing 1: objects
Life drawing 2: figures
Colored marker and pencil
Using gold and minerals
Sketch exercise: improv comedy meets pictionary
The erotic line
Digital zone: illustrator
Digital zone: photoshop
Digital zone: 3D programs
Digital zone: storyboard and animatics
Gold rush era in architecture and landscapes - for this one we need someone to help us get the AV material. (the gold rush is from 1825-1850)

I'm feeling fussy tonight, and I'm not exactly sure why, besides the fact that I'm bored.
Work was fine. Okay, I might not have gotten enough sleep last night, but that doesn't normally put me in a mood like this.
I watched some episodes from Connections 2, but it felt like information I already knew.
I can't talk to either of my boys. I snapped at GingerBeard because he reminded me of something I kinda knew, but hate facing. And when GoldenPuppy called earlier, but he seemed distracted. I didn't feel like I got a definite answer about plans we've been talking about off and on for the last month.
Retail therapy didn't actually help. Most of the stuff I could do without. I got something close, but not quite what I offered to get a patient. I suppose I could go for a longer walk than just running across to the store.

I just realized it's been six months since I wrote anything.
I went home for Christmas, which was awesome and relaxing. I love my Flutter kitten for that treat.

I went to FC in January. It was mostly mellow. I drooled over a sexy beast hardcore enough for my friends to give me a towel to wipe up the drool. I swear I creamed my pants every time he gave me a hug. But no, as much as I wanted to, I didn't bag him. I did, however, pick up two new pets, both from SoCal. I had minor drama the last day of the con because it was snowing bad enough in Denver that my flight got delayed. I worried about where I was going to stay...silly me, that's what boys are for. Well, them, plus my family.

My computer explodes in early February, and the boys (Mickey and Levi) were sweet enough to get me a new one. I felt loved.

I decided I was not happy in Colorado anymore, and started making preparations to move back home. I phoned my old job, left a message saying that I planned on moving back late April/early May. I got a call the next day asking me if I could come back any earlier. I consulted my calendar and set April 20th as the date of my return. (Interesting coincidence: 4/20/2007 was the last day at that job before I headed off to Colorado for the wedding.)

When I told Adrienne, my boss, that I was planning on leaving for California she made the prediction that I would meet a guy, fall madly for him and want to stay in Denver. Weird thing, she was almost right. Levi and I had gone to the Church on a Friday night, and ended up chatting with this chick, Kayla, on the smoking deck. Levi and the girl chatted back and forth on IM that week and the following Friday we went and hung out with her and her roomie ALL WEEKEND. We switched partners. Levi got Kayla and I got her roomie. And I quickly got comfortable with him. Didn't fall madly in love with him, because I knew I was moving back home in a month. All the preparations had been made. But I did become quite fond of him, and wished that I had met him six months earlier because then I might have stayed in Denver a while longer.

The drive cross country was uneventful, but long. (Of course.) As we were making the final preparations to leave I get a phone call from Lauralyn, my CA BossLady, asking me if I can start any earlier than the 20th. Yeah, not a problem, let me get everything moved in and I can start Thursday.

But I had a small problem. While I was in Colorado my drivers license had expired and was now suspended, due to an old ticket that I had gotten shortly before a move. I had put the ticket someplace safe and had forgotten about it. Court fees built up over three years. So I worked on getting that fixed and getting my license back. (Which I officially received this week.) I was lucky that I had my own personal chauffeur, Levi. Which also forced him into being social and meeting my friends, who he got on with fairly well.

Things weren't bright and sunny at work, though. Kaiser was boycotting my building, so I was working mostly 3/4 days with one really bad week of half days. And because I was being good and not driving, I took BART to work. So I couldn't bounce to other buildings to get more hours.

I wasn't able to be as social as I wanted because I wasn't working enough hours. I could afford to go to karaoke every other week. I would go to church every three to four weeks, and also arrange to see friends afterwards.

Levi went back to Colorado in the middle of June. He wasn't able to find a job, and he was missing Kayla something fierce. I couldn't blame him, but his time out here served it's purpose. It showed him and his family that they didn't need to depend on him and drag him down. And he got it pounded into his head how important an education really is.

Here in Colorado, I have 4 main guys in my life.

My roommate: black dragon, complete asshole, but also is a good house husband. This boy can cook!
My pet: golden fuzzy dragon, musically oriented, slightly nuts. Comes down on his weekends to regain his sanity.
My Dom: black wolf, hurts me so good. The downside is I only get to see him once a month.
My ???: I have no idea how to classify this guy. We flirt a lot and he likes me, but has way too much drama.

I am only having sex with one of these guys. each of the others have reasons for me to keep my hands off. And I'm semi-satisfied with this. This is me who had a harem of boys back home in California.

Whatever, I'll ponder it later.

I save old letters and cards. I reread some letters that Moth had written me after he joined the Air Force. I had forgotten how much joy he had brought to my life and what an optimist I used to be. Our year together before he joined the Air Force is the one time I know I was in love and was loved back. Everything else has been one sided, either I'm crushing after a guy, or the idiot is obsessed with me.

Now, even though I'm only just beginning my third decade, I feel like a bitter hag. I keep choosing the wrong guys out here. Mostly because they are immature. I have a much lower tolerance for stupidity in general. And with what's been happening over the last few days, I even feel like I'm losing touch with my friends out here.

Work has even been burning me out. We have over 30 patients on case load. Over a month ago the rehab director went AWOL, so Adrienne stepped up to the plate and is now supervisor. I don't feel like Madelain, the other PT is putting forth the same amount that I am. And I am busting my hump trying to see anywhere between 10 to 16 patients a day, depending on if we get a contract therapist in as a third set of hands.

I'm tired, lonesome, and feeling put upon in general. I need a vacation.

I made it. I did the Denver Half Marathon this morning. My time coming in was 4 hours 15 minutes. I'm foot sore and tired, but I did what I set out to accomplish.

I FINISHED THE FUCKING RACE!!!!

And I'm enough of a masochist I have my next half marathon planned for next year. I am going to do the Rock and Roll San Jose half marathon October 4th 2009.

Okay, I hurt and am tired. I'm going back to bed.
 

I appreciate all who have donated to get me to where I'm at with my fund-raising. But I still have $850 left to raise before the marathon on Oct 19th.  If $5 is all you can do, then bless your heart. But if you can spare more, please do. The marathon is less than three weeks away, and I'm getting nervous about not having raised my share.

Please use the link in this email to donate online quickly and securely plus learn more about my progress.  You will receive a confirmation of your donation by email and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/rm/denver08/aanderstpt

On behalf of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, thank you very much for your support.  I greatly appreciate your generosity.

I appreciate your support and encouragement.

It been a long few months, and sometimes it's hard to get motivated, but
I'm almost at my goal. I've been walking ten miles the past few
Saturdays, getting ready to make  the whole 13.1  I need to walk on
October 19th.

One of my other goals is to raise funds for The Leukemia & Lymphoma
Society (LLS) as a participant in their Team In Training program and I'm
asking you to help by making a donation to my fundraising campaign.

Please use the link in this email to donate online quickly and securely
plus learn more about my progress.  You will receive a confirmation of
your donation by email and I will be notified as soon as you make your
donation.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/rm/denver08/aanderstpt

Each donation helps accelerate finding a cure for leukemia, lymphoma and
myeloma. More than 823,000 Americans are battling these blood cancers.
I am hoping that my participation in Team In Training will help bring
them hope and support.

I mean even if you just give $5, it gets me that much closer to the
$2500 goal. It gets LLS closer to finding a cure for all blood cancers.

Okay, I'm done. I am seriously thinking of moving back to the Bay Area. I have a routine and I don't deviate from it. I don't have the social life I'm used to. This is not how it's supposed to be!
I work M-F 9-530 ish. I have my track workouts Weds for Team in Training, and then I head up to trivia. This is my busiest day. Saturdays are the long walks for Team in Training. These are my commitments. I have nothing beyond them.

I have 4, maybe 5 people who would miss me when I move away.  1) Adrienne, my PT and girl-friend, but we don't hang out much besides work. 2) Mr. Shiny, the first person out here who made me feel like I was hanging out with my California friends. But he's now engaged, and she might be pregnant. 3) My lil sis Sara. But she has school and a boyfriend, so we text, and might see each other once a week. 4) Sehro, another on who would fit in with my darkling clan. But he wandered off to the Springs right before I came out for my vacation, and I haven't seen him since. 5) Bert, I'm not sure about him. He's sweet, and strange, but I don't know where I stand with him.

I'm not the center of anyone's social circle. I think that's what hurts the most. I'm used to holding court, but there's no one to orbit me out here.

Back in May I decided to do something about my weight. I joined up with Team in Training. They train people to run/walk marathons and half-marathons, do triathalons, and century (100 mile) bike rides. They also raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. (I'll put their blurb at the bottom of this post.)

So far, I do about 3 miles at our track work outs on Weds nights. We do speed training at one of the local high schools and occasionally get up to Red Rocks Amphitheater to train.
Saturdays are our long walks. I did eight miles on Saturday 8/30. I plan on hitting ten miles this weekend before we start tapering down. I want to know I can make 3/4 of the intended race. I was proud of myself when I hit the halfway mark of seven miles.
I also walk for about 45 mins every other morning.  And that's what I'm doing physically.

I still need to work on reaching my fund raising goal. To participate in the Denver marathon I need to raise at least $2000. I'm at about $500 right now. I'm asking for your help. I mean, come on people...five dollars gets me that much closer to the goal.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/rm/denver08/aanderstpt This is my fund raising web page. (Yes, I know it's very generic)

Each donation helps accelerate finding a cure for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma. More than 823,000 Americans are battling these blood cancers.   I am hoping that my participation in Team In Training will help bring them hope and support.

So I have been and gone to Cali for my birthday. Much fun had, many people visited (but still not enough time for everyone), and WAY too many sexy boys out there that I miss.

Work: *sigh* I get back from my vacation and I was back working 9 to 10 hour days. It was kinda painful. But we hired another PT, who works Tuesday thru Saturday, so that should help ease things a little bit.

Social: Well, they made the goth club I hang out on Sundays 21+ now. Which sucks because I hung out with a younger crowd. This means Sundays became movie days for me, and my adopted lil sis. I popped her con and furry cherry at the same time when I took her to RMFC Memorial day weekend. I'm taking her to NanDesKon next month (anime con). I'm also planning on bringing her out to Cali for FC, show her the difference between the two. And introduce her to all the crazy people I know who she would totally fit in with.

Okay, so you all know I'll be in Cali for my birthday. I'll give you the updated itinerary and then remind you about the party.

Weds 7/23 - Arrive 2pm, get picked up by Vero, go to chinese bakery because I am fiending for BBQ pork buns!! Hang around and do girly stuff with Vero, then have her drop me off at Tallone's house. Go see Hellboy with Tallone and possibly Jonjon too. (and whoever else wants to join)
Thurs 7/24 - Get the van from my mom's house if I haven't already and go pick up my cousin TJ. Go get my tattoo!! Drop TJ off, then head over to Crack Chicken/Beer.
Fri 7/25 - Drive up to see BossLady, and possibly stop and see MelChan on the way back. Debate whether or not to go up to the City for Meat vs Deathguild at the DNA lounge.
Sat 7/26 - MY BIRTHDAY!!!! Go for a walk with the Silicon Vally chapter of Team in Training. Stop by the grocery store to get starters for the BBQ. Head over to Maywood park and spend time with friends. Steal my boyfriend off to the hotel and molest him.
Sun 7/27 - Church, lunch and shopping at Trader Joe's with mom, help mom with her open house. Go to karaoke. yay!
Mon 7/28 - Not quite sure what my plans are. My flight leaves at 830pm.

So anyways...PARTY!
Saturday July 26th 11am, Maywood Park, 3330 Pruneridge Ave Santa Clara 95051, Potluck.

 I'm planning on having a barbecue at a park for my birthday. My problem is that I can't decide which park. I have it narrowed down to two. Westwood Oaks Park at 3330 Pruneridge Ave Santa Clara, and Maywood Park at 460 La Herran Dr Santa Clara. Map of parks

So cast your votes. Westwood Oaks vs. Maywood.

I am set to come out for my birthday at the end of July. I'll be out from Weds the 23rd to Mon the 28th. I have a basic itinerary in mind, but nothing set in stone yet. And this is also a not so subtle hint asking for someone to throw me a birthday party, cuz I hate trying to plan parties. It stresses me out.

Wednesday: Arrive in San Jose @ 2pm. Drag somebody with me to go get my third tattoo.
Thursday: Head up to see Boss Lady. Hang out with my cousin since he works weekends. Go to Crack Chicken.
Friday: Try to gather my Darkling clan together because I miss them!
Saturday: My actual birthday!! who's going to host my party?
Sunday: Church and family stuff. Karaoke at KoC, yay!!
Monday: Fly home in the evening.

Speak up and reserve time with me. I want to see as many people as possible.

So I moved out. I have a cute little one bedroom much closer to both jobs. Unfortunately a couple of friends that helped me move in think it's a ghetto and said I should have let them know I was apt hunting. I haven't had any problems yet. But we'll see how the year goes, if I want to run away from here or not.

Even though my marriage is falling apart, that doesn't mean my whole life is. I am not moving back home to California automatically. Hubby's family lives about 3 hours southwest of Denver and he'll be moving back in with them since he doesn't have a job yet.

I, on the other hand, have a great job that I just started. The hospital will be expanding within the month. It will continue to challenge me and I've got a great team of therapists that I work with. I want to stick with it for a few years and see where it takes me and what it teaches me.
I am starting to settle in here in Denver. I found a church that I like, I've become a regular at a Goth club, I'm trying to set a group of Ladies that I can do a girl's night out with. Please don't make the assumption I'll come running back with my tail between my legs.

I'll be out to the Bay for visits twice a year. In January for FC, and in July for my birthday. I miss you guys, and look forward to when you get brave enough to come visit me.

A lot has happened in the last few weeks. But I still think my life is mostly boring.

I'm glad that I'm starting full time at the hospital. The paperwork was approved last week so I officially start full time as of 3/31. No more trying to remember where I'll be working. M-F I'll be at Complex Care Hospital of Colorado, 3 out of 4 Saturdays a month I'll be at Clear Creek Transitional Care Center.
Last week was interesting at Clear Creek. My supervisor was damn near on his knees both Thurs and Fri, begging me to come full time there. And the prickly COTA (certified occupational therapy asst) was working on me too, saying she'll help me negotiate. THAT was what weirded me out. The lady who I pissed off my first few days on the job, and still rub the wrong way at least once a week is trying to pressure me to work full time with her. I panicked, and called my mom and my BossLady from CA for advice. Mom did her typical engineering and manager-type thing and mainly helped with the pros and cons of the financial side of the two competing offers. BossLady told me to go where I knew I could be happy for the next few years. "Money is nice, but it's better to not dread going to work everyday." She could tell what my decision was just by listening to me talk about the two jobs.

So this is what people think my relationship is with Ogre. I found someone I love and I'm going to live happily ever after. Fooled you!
This is what it's really like. We were raised and socialized completely differently. I shine when I'm around people, his nickname says it all, Ogre. He's normally the one in the corner, watching, but not interacting. The boy often acts like he fell off the short bus.
Those of you who saw me at FurCon, might have noticed him hulking behind me, expecting me to lead the way. Of course I would introduce him around, but I didn't interact like I normally would. He was this looming spectre casting a pall over my conversations. I was fucking censoring myself when he was around! Hell, I hardly talk when he's around. I have nothing I want to say to him.

So I'm done. Especially since he's been slowly losing my respect. I'm moving into my own apartment middle of next month, and he's moving back to his parent's place because the loser hasn't held a job since Halloween. Who knows, maybe he'll find it easier to find a job down there. We'll start processing the paperwork for the divorce once we're cleared out of this apt.
Yes there is more of a story to this, but I'm not willing to say anything.

P.S. akonken: Yes, Dad already knows. But I will hurt you if you blab to Mom. I will tell that part of the family when we get together for Grandpa's memorial.

That's right, plural. Why? Because neither one is full time.

Job #1 is back working at nursing homes and that sort of thing for my ex-regional director. He's "in a crunch and needs therapists he can depend on." And I need the money and a chance to get out of the house. Supposedly it's a faster paced rehab, more Med A's and HMO patients. I'm basically on-call with them, but they're glad to fill my schedule until I start with the hospital.

Which leads me to job #2. I met the HR lady at a job fair on the 31st and gave her my resume. Filled out the application online Monday the 4th, got a call in the afternoon of the 6th setting up the interview yesterday, went to my interview yesterday and filled out pre-hire paperwork at the end. It's long term acute care (LTAC): people on ventilators, brain injuries, medically complex patients. I met both the manager and the PT I'd be working under. We clicked pretty easily.

So w00t! I have jobs! That means I'm not chained to the apt anymore. I have reason to leave without always having to explain to Ogre where I'm going. I was going stir-crazy!